Bribin da Elf

So uhhh, McTwinkle, uhhh, I has an idea.  Santa duzn't need to know EVERYTHING right???  Like my habit of kitteh-chasin.  Santa duzn't need to know.  Besides, da kitties are so chaseable. And I are pretty shure dey like being chased anyways.

And Santa duzn't need to know bout me eatin cat food.  It are just so tasty.

And Santa duzn't need to know how jealous I gets when my momma pays attenshun to udder animals.  Or bout dat time I chewed up Momma's books.

So whaddya want to keep quiet??  We can steal some of momma's cash to pay ya off.  Or maybe some jewelry??  Or we can help ya raid da cookie jar.

Or are we gonna hafta make ya an offer ya can't refuse.  Remember McTwinkle, snitches get stitches.